THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Don’t you want to change your last mistake? A spoilt relationship? Or a decision gone wrong? Or a choice which ended up in some disaster? Isn’t there a part in each one of us that wants to rewind some things that happen? I think it does. Even the most fluent tagline “I don’t regret anything in life”; is cheesy and has everything wrong in it. We make our own choices, and hence have no other option of dealing with them on our own too. The blame game can’t be played for too long.

 

Good lord’s bestest gift to us is love, and never ever in our dreams too, we should question its existence. Just like Ritwik something’s novel’s title goes; LOVE HAPPENS LIKE THAT; it does. Plus in the least expected way you expect it to. But at the same point of time, you can’t escape the pressure your surroundings put you in. We all live in a society which thrives on external or to be precise peer pressure. Honestly, I would call this peer foolishness or peer’s burning sensation of happiness. Or something of that sort, that makes better sense than this. (And you surely get what I mean!!)

 

Such a tense environment leads you to the worst sickness; Doubt. And getting caught in that web is one heck of a thing! I don’t know when this little prickly creature; Mr.Doubtee, I’ll call him; got in but for all the little while he was inside me, killed me. He played his role of spoiling my fairytale romance, making my lazy mind race with nonsense and ended up shedding me a tear too. All the characteristics that my ‘foolish-unhappy-with-self-peer’ possesses. God made us the way, we could be best justified with. And the power of thinking that we inherent, is one great gift indeed! Our mind runs in all directions, and even in those where we don’t want to rather we don’t imagine of too. But every smoke rises from some fire. And what better reason to mind-fuck than that of insecurity; envy, guilt, or consequential planning that makes our mind step the treadmill!

 

So, after all being said and done, to correct things, like some hero-under-wraps, ready to fight the villains; enters the heart. And to solve such heartily matters, all you need is truth, trust, faith, and love. With getting all the ingredients right, how could my fairytale not get back on track? It did and to put the exclamation on my widening smile, it is! To not forget, Mr. Doubtee had a sad ending. And so will the “peer”; as it is rightly said, “its Karma baby! It has to strike you back!!”

 

Now linking with the decision I made wrong, I would love to rewind the factors of Mr. Doubtee’s entrance in my life. A lot more trust and a lot more faith; which I possess now, will make sure my love-story remains happy, always, and keeps me too! Cheesy but true. 

So,A; here’s to you.:)

DREAMS ON PAPER

I haven’t felt the desperation for anything else more than writing. Now after a month I return to my laptop to scribble down my age-old dream. A dream that has some parts of my life planned, as per my wish, and has a happy ending too.

Though it’s recent that I’ve decided to go public with it, but if I wouldn’t, then how would my DREAM-MAN, my “knight in the shining armor”; find me? And adjust according to my dreams!  The dream has already started. My actions and thoughts just steer it to a new direction. Sometimes the wind of life knocks it down the highway and sets it up on a new route, a distance less travelled, less seen! New pebbles, new leaves have my story already written on them, and all they have to do is touch and fall on me, respectively.

 

I’ve grown up with Bollywood movies, honestly lived every Romantic one, and after being able enough to read and understand English, imagined myself in Hollywood’s classiest romantic flicks too! My dreams start with love and end with it. Honestly life does but practically it doesn’t. OKAY! I have to stop getting lost in my love dreamland, always; and stick to some reality. Getting back with my dream; all I intend to do in my life is love, dance, draw, travel, shop, paint and buy a car. Though particularly not in this order and not in the specified quantities as well!

 

I’m a 20 year old girl, studying and will start working in a while. (Hopefully!)Then there are some more studies to tackle. And all this for the Love of money! Along with a little greed of knowledge. And after so much of doing, I get through my dream number 1. “Buy-a-Car for dad”. To get to the roots; once I saw a black shining-hot-sensational-LONG car passing me and since that day I dream of having it parked in my driveway. Almost a year back when my dad planned to buy one, my dream-car just couldn’t happen and then I promised to GIFT him that one, before I get married! So, my intentions of working just reach out till the time I get “THE-CAR” for him. Then, I’m done with the 9 to 5 push-paper job.

 

Next I plan to fall in love. I know I’m stupid enough to *PLAN* to fall in love, but now when the stupid-cupid has lost his way down to me; I’m not left with anything than planning for it. So, like every other girl, I want to get married to the man who resembles my dad, in almost all the aspects; has my favorite actor’s looks, qualities including humor and to top it all loves me more than myself! He has to do a lot of things, as I’ve read and seen throughout, just to keep my belief in love stories and fairytales intact. The best proposal sequences, from the reel world have to taste reality with me. So Mr.Love I guess you’re hearing me; oops! Reading it well! Dream number 2 done!

 

Aaah! Life in a bubble is so much soothing and happy! I wish I could make it all happen right now, but I love life, to the extent it loves me and will wait for all the surprises it offers me, Happy or Sad. Now I guess my dream-life-planning has to take a back seat and the exam studying has to take a toll…Tsk! So, till my next dream sequel gets on paper, I guess my mind, my wanderer, has to be tied to the ground to complete some special love making sequences with the books!

Anyway, Happy Dreaming! 

THE HAPPY-SAD CYCLE.

ONLY ONCE ONE HAS KNOWN REAL SADNESS, CAN ONE FEEL REAL HAPPINESS.

Like it is rightly said, happiness and sadness are like sun and moon; when one goes, the other comes. But both are ephemeral. You don’t stay sad or be in a state of content all the time. Life is not fair and that what makes it livable. Agreeing with the given statement is easy. Not because it is some predefined notion stated by some great philosopher, but it fits apt on my life too. Or to be precise, would fit well to anybody’s and everybody’s life.

 

I’ll start with taking a non-fictitious example from everyday life, Heartbreak. It is an event that one generally experiences in his lifetime, at least once. Be it some teenage infatuation-love break up or some serious committed relationship coming to an end. On an average, almost 70%, not statistically though, get into depression, not only the one that goads them to commit some serious thing but it deteriorates them from inside to a large extent. Then happiness seems feeble enough to be real. But then as life is meant to be, happiness knocks our door in any possible way. Reconciling with life again, gives a new definition to it and then that feeling becomes superior to any other feeling going on.

 

Considering some obstinate child needs or wants, which are useless to some extent, also fall in to this description. A 5 year old kid will cry his heart out if he doesn’t get his desired, once seen, toy! But as parents are, making sure that the child is not spoilt, disciplined, they sometimes decline to their demands. But just as the house gets filled with the air of melancholy, all because the child is unhappy, parents give up! Honestly, they have to! And just when the toy appears in front of the kid, God! The exuberance of the baby spreads throughout the house, making it a HOME*again, more than a house! So see; happiness is majorly valued after you’ve known what sadness feels like.

 

Happiness is the state of being true to you, in all conditions; without any burden of lies hanging around. Just as you realize the importance of somebody, or your favorite thing, after losing or separating from them, similarly, you revere happiness after you’ve felt the roughness of life. To conclude, happiness and sadness run after each other. The more you experience one, the stronger you become, to face life with all its weapons. So just when life throws a googly; don’t be defensive, just play along and then hitting a 4 or a 6 won’t be that difficult. Surely.

Mr. X STRIKES BACK.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about what to write. And it’s just because I want to keep it going, like keep writing. But then the hectic schedule I’ve been following, doesn’t let me ponder upon the everyday miniscule things that happen. They come and go, and somehow don’t leave any impact on me.

But then there are things which lure you so much that everything else comes to a halt, and the only thing in your mind is that thing. Only.  So recently, while enjoying a family Sunday, I heard about something which pulled me out of my senses and shocked me. Ill-treatment to aged women.

 

While we’re travelling in a public transport, any to say, we always give away our seat to some aged person whose standing. And it’s not a matter of pride or achievement but it’s just in our roots. We’ve been taught to respect elders, no matter who they are.

Senior citizens are supposed to be nurtured, just the way a small kid is. You don’t behave boorishly with them. Nobody does. But there are always exceptions!

 

So an old female, say age 70; was travelling alone from her daily routine of temple and prayers. And Mr.X; again some ruthless man, was sitting next to her. Suddenly, he tried to spit out of the window; though without leaning towards the window. So naturally it didn’t go out of the window, and came over the woman’s suit. Now, apologizing, praying for forgiveness, begging for such an offhand behavior will be any other man’s next step. But Mr.X! He just couldn’t say the five letter word. Moreover when the woman reacted, about the nonsensical thing, he shouted back! Oh yes, the shout wasn’t just verbal, it was abusive too. DARING, INSENSITIVE and INHUMAN to be apropos.

The thing doesn’t end here. Now enters Mr.X’s brother. Similar, identical in looks, and more in the habits. He shouted back on the woman and spat again, now aiming not on the window and you know where I’m talking about. Now, you don’t call it brutal, do you?

A public transport in the capital, with plethora of people in the bus, but none to be present really. Nobody came to rescue the poor old women, while she kept quiet, all because she was alone.“Heights of In-humanism”. But there was still much more to happen. Much to the female’s anguish; she stood and tried to get down, but Mr.X just couldn’t let her go. He pushed her down, in the bus, amidst everybody and now the second hero, our second Mr. X; the brother; tried to walk over her, leaving a bruise on her neck. Now when the old woman cried in pain, the conductor woke up from his dreams and threw the guys out of the bus. Or to be true, pushed. Smart he is! Just when the movie ended he realized, “oh my god! It’s real and not fiction”.

 

Argh! Done with the narration. But I have had so much running in my mind since the time I wrote the first letter of this post. We’ve been always taught to NOT disrespect anybody. And moreover be much more reverent to old people. They are our heritage and our roots which define our present. And our future too. Simply, how can you be this insensitive and callous? How? I just don’t understand and probably till the time Mr. X exists in the world, never will. Just the way the old Mr.X exists in us, this one does too, but in a proportion of a 5 percent over all.

It’s not that doing the same thing with old men would be any different, but with women, things become more sensitive. We pray, idolize, respect the goddesses, made into idols but we deter the real human female. A woman, is not less than god. She’s the one who gets us in the world and is the whole sole reason of us being alive. Quirk of fate, to say the least.

 

Honestly, I would love to meet him, personally, alone, and goad him to do the same thing, and there and then, stab him to death; that very second. We all would.  But probably would stop cause of our moral values and ethics, we’ve been brought up in. Even though I’m full with abuses for the guys, our very special Mr. X; I still will respect him. I will respect him so much that he dies seeing his face, on his own.

 

Now the future where love, peace and harmony exist altogether is murky. Elucidation will take time. It will, till the time we, on our own, don’t push or force Mr.X out of us. I’m so taken aback that sometimes, I’m wary about going out, alone.

 

Well, to end, as they say, a happy ending is always in store. Just as Mr.X and his brother were pushed down, the people standing on the road, came to know about the incident, and kicked their asses! The beam of happiness shows on my face, while I’m writing too! And then our *Dilli Police came in to action. Dabbang! Anyway, with a hope, that the 2 days in prison, got them to senses, all other aspiring Mr.X’s would stop, and get back on track of LIFE, the way it is meant to be. Happy and Respectful.

THE LUCK THAT FOLLOWS. EVERYWHERE.

Aaah! (Relieved) The feeling is; after getting back to my laptop to write something after ages!

And to put the blame on somebody rather something, the list is topped by none other than my *not so* good, not even okay-ish, or simply- depressing college. The time it takes me to be there and leave from there to be back home, kills me 80 percent! SIGH! Anyway, I’m no more in favor of talking rubbish about anything.

Lately I realized that luck actually plays a vital role in life happenings. As we all know, or we believe that success, career and everything materialistic i.e. the product of any plan in our life; depends on luck. But what about the everyday happenings that occur? Those? Do they actually happen according to luck? Or they happen because they are meant to happen? I’m lost with the answer.

Since last 3 years, while tripping to college, (read travelling; because travelling for more than 140 km every day, is not less than a trip!) we’ve never been fortunate enough to reach on time. Although we don’t intend to enter college at sharp 8:40, sit at the first desk and attend the first lecture, FULLY; still; even when we really were in need to be present there on time, we never made it.

This is usual, as you must be thinking. But then even I’m not dumb enough to write about my reaching late to college. SERIOUSLY, I’m not! The thing I’m trying to express here is the LUCK FACTOR. Okay! So try experiencing this thing. You have to be present at sharp 9, which is 20 minutes post the commencing of college, you get up at 6, get ready by 630 then sit in your car by 7, and finally start your 60 km trip. Applying the basic math equation and formulae, 60 km is covered in 2 hours by the speed of mere 30 km/hour; which a small car also does! So, 2 hours is enough for you to reach your destination 60 km away, not considering the external factors of accidents, traffic jams, delays and weather problems. And when some incident like above occurs, it takes another 10-15 minutes additional. Not more than that! But these things don’t occur every day. Or even if they do, they don’t happen ALTOGETHER!

BUT, in our case, they do. ALL THE TIME! Moreover whenever we have to, HAVE TO reach somewhere on time, everything that leads you to it, falls apart, damages, ends, or some mishap occurs! LUCK you call it. Or rather BAD-EST LUCK! (even though it is not a word, still the feeling is as gross as the word.) And to summarize or put the feeling in words, it is not less than somebody pissing on you. Literally!

The irritation with which I’m writing this piece is inspired by today’s routine. Getting up at 530 am, starting from your house at 630 in the morning, travelling all over Delhi to pick up people and then leaving some few, all cause we have to sit in our exam that starts at 9 am. Even after such *EARLY MORNING* schedule, we ended up reaching at 10 am! That is exactly one hour after the exam started, or rather to say, 15 minutes before the exam ended! Though we did not miss out on our exam, it got delayed, SOMEHOW, with unknown reasons; we still had a roller coaster ride. Starting from car breaking down, then some accident blocking the way, then the IDIOTIC-unreasonable-Delhi-Gurgaon Jams! Everything together. Just to add cherry on the top, it starts raining too! And with cats and dogs raining, Gurgaon comes to a halt!

*LUCK. LUCK. LUCK*. Everything here went on cause of our lethargic luck.  See, it doesn’t only make your life project’s product swing according to it; the happenings and little minor things attached too are affected!

So, probably I haven’t really got my answer, but this proof of incident occurring suffices.

And yes! The delay of exam happened cause some of us are meant to be treated nice (in consideration: ME!), so things work out. THIS WAY OR THAT! They do! So, even after “LUCK” favoring you or shadowing you, *vahi hota hai jo manzoore khuda hota hai*!!

 

THE GOOD LIFE AND THE BETTER LIFE

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you could not wait to have it? Say a new phone, you want it so badly, like be the first one to get it, that you cannot wait even for your birthday(like 2 months form now) for somebody to gift it to you, so you start saving each penny and get that phone AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Now the feeling of owning that phone, which everybody desires to have, and you being the first one, is OUT OF THE WORLD. And by the time you would have waited for your birthday, probably with the rapid technological advancements, that phone might have been a passé. So as it is rightly said, “Good things come to those who wait, but better things come to those who go out and get it”; I totally agree with it.

 

While you sit back and desire something to come your way, and leave it entirely on the destiny to make it happen, though by the end of its lifetime, you’ll be rewarded with it but the excitement, the pleasure of getting will be lost. To fulfill our dream, we cannot just let destiny do the work. We have to go out of the way to get that one thing in us that makes us worthy of “owning it”. Considering Newton, the magical scientist, just did not let god, or destiny make him the creator of force theories, he did it on his own will. The apple fell on him, it does at many of us, but then he was the only one who thought, found out the reason to the existing gravital force; the reason why an apple fell on the ground and why humans can’t float. It’s your effort and your will which decide what you get in life, a good thing, or a better thing.

 

Talking about the worldly renowned Shahrukh Khan; he is one of the most loved, admired, and richest person in the world. Putting light to his life in early days of youth, he was just a lean lanky guy with no godfather and just dreams of becoming an actor. And with his determination, strong willed and sheer hard work, he’s become THE SHAHRUKH KHAN. Speaking of hard work, it is one thing in life that can make you go from rags to riches.

 

Rather than talking about any famous person, just put yourself in this position. Say your aim is to lose weight. And then everyday you pray to god to give you a fit, less obese body and with the hope of having your wishes being fulfilled by god,( THE GOD he is!, he has the power to do anything, creating, destroying somebody, giving life, saving from death and even making you slim! ); you start having cheese-burst eateries every day. And the outcome is; no change! Rather 2 more kilos hanging with you! So without working out, exercising, cutting down on calories (and fat), you just cannot get that Kareena Kapoor or that Megan fox body! No way! You have to put your hard work. No if no but!

 

With effort, will, determination, spirit and hard work in your stride, nothing in this world can stop you from getting what you want. Nothing at all. As rightly said by somebody, “When you really want something to happen, and you put in your 100 %, then even the universe conspires for it to happen it to you.” So rather than waiting, praying to god and staring at the sky with the hope of making your life good, just by putting little bit effort, you can get a better life!

GIRLS: AND PUTTING EM' INTO DIFFERENT BOXES.

Just after realizing that I’ve been the *Mush queen*, with all love dipped posts, I’ve decided to get a little bit off the *pyaar ka track* and add humor, sarcasm and more live-now, feel-now elements to my posts.

Now when I stare the wall, to find a topic on which I could actually scribble something funny and lame, I ended up thinking of this, *girl-classification* theme; which once my loving, sweet, pretty, sexy “female” friend, new sister, or to be precise in the relation, my brother’s girlfriend, told me. Though we decided to write this down together, but then I was kinda reluctant with it, say it because of my girlfriend-boyfriend ratio which points to ITSY BITSY decimals (null to infinity) and even she didn’t want to end up bitching about all her girls. (All her.)

But now I thought of surprising her, to make her feel better with the bitch-marathon, going around her and as a token of *louve*, for being supportive and all ears to my nonsense, love-struck dreams and roller coaster drama that goes on in my life, constantly.

 

GIRLS. Basically you cannot classify them into particular groups or something but then there are typical set examples that actually converges the girl categorization into a few limited ones, 10 as I’ve done.

 

Category 1: The Super-spoilt-bitch

Such girls are the ones who are constantly bothered by the fact of *why is the spotlight not on me?* and get angry on little useless things just to act pricey. Not to forget, they are spoilt, and the reason is they are –dead drop gorgeous. But to add honesty here, they are dumb too. Pretty girls have the right to be!

And to the same sex, they are *not decent*, and they hate them, just to restrict my language morals. (Yeah whatever!)

 

Category 2: The drama queen

Laughing too much, crying too much, thinking too much (or to say pretending to think too much) and looking for attention 24x7 are the Drama queens. All they want is temporary happiness and all of it though!

 

Category 3: The sugar dipped girl

Honestly, I envy such girls. How can you measure each of your word before saying it and dip it into sugar and then speak out. Impossible! But then there are females, who don’t want anything else except happiness, though not only theirs but global happiness. And Except a FEW, others are fake.

 

Category 3: Plastic company ambassador

The local Aishwarya rai’s. They actually cover them too much that they lose out their own identities, be it their faces or their habits or their nature. In layman language, they are plastics. Or as a girl says it, fake!

 

Category 4: The less of *fe-MALE*

Sometimes masculinity overshadows the original sex, and you call them *tom-boys*. There is nothing particularly wrong with them, they are the best company any once can have, outgoing, fun loving, and amazing in all aspect, just a little less in girly habits.

 

Category 5: The Dumb brigade

Most of the girls are dumb. In fact all are, if you ask any guy. (Even though lameness rules in men, they still afford to think that. ha!). Like in “Mean girls”, the dumb actress who could sense rain with her tits, in real life too, there are ‘some girls’ who ACTUALLY believe in something like this! Though they believe anything and everything, they just can’t help being stupid and duh-est.!

 

Category 6: The WALLED girl

When you feel a lot of pain in life, you try and hide yourself from every emotion around you, then you become this strong walled girl, who thinks only from her head and practicality is the only thing that hold a place in her life. Though every girl is emotional, she doesn’t show any bit of it on her face. True sign of decisiveness and an adamant natured will. But then these are the ones that make the most romantic partners too.

 

Category 7: The *Cupid-please-strike-me-SOON* girl

Girl are emotional and way to romantic too. Dreams account for every encounter with a guy and threads of hopes and desires start knitting in her mind, from the very first touch, be it a handshake too. Over –hyper and I want a guy-the soonest, the better; type of girl, are another version of the drama queens.

 

Category 8: The Mean Girl

“I want my work to be done, by hook or by crook”, such girls these are. They can actually Love somebody, Change somebody or even kill somebody (by any mean, be it looks, or (.)!) for what they want. A typical *Ekta kapoor soap Vamp* to be precise!

 

Category 9: The Bookish girl

If books are the last thing on the earth, they wouldn’t mind making out with them too. For them, fun is something that goes way back to a 2 year old kid playing with a toy, ONLY. Nerdy they are and so, end up spoiling the fun others want to have. An irritating breed of girls!

 

Category 10: The GOOD girl

A perfect girly girl, no exaggeration of drama, the right amount of bitchiness, sweetness to taste your buds, helping, loving and the exact portion on nerdy-ness too, adds up to this one. The most wanted by guys and the most hated by girls.

 

Okay! So I’m done with this classification. Girls are *GIRLS*. Bitchy, sweet, loving and yes, most of all; EVERY GIRL IS BEAUTIFUL. And love, respect and dignity are all that she wants.

 

Pheeu! So probably I wouldn’t have written all of it alone, if it wasn’t for you, my half *name-sharer*.

Not more than few months of knowing each other, ive got to know you, and I feel proud that you do too! You are my CATEGORY 10 girl, which I am not saying cause I love you, but as a girl who knows a *female* with all of her sides.( I think!)

Though somewhere I feel my this random surprise for you, is lame, cause it doesn’t really revolve around you, or us but then I just wanted to put down something for the first ever topic you decided for us to write on. So now my NEWEST BESTIE, this one’s especially for you. I love you, your loveliness with my little brother too, and I’m glad to be linked in a relationship with you! 

KISSING RAIN

So, I, the occasional writer/blogger have finally got the JOB of writing something for somebody about a particular theme; though my employer is none other than my sister. Still. She’s proud of my miniature work, and I’m more than contented. If happiest-est-est would have been some word, then surely, that is the feeling.

Monsoonal Love, love in monsoons, or some name with other conjunctions between the two, is my theme.

Even though I’ve mentioned about the seasonal cycle having similar effect on our lives as well as on the weather in my earlier post; for this one I’m supposed to be specific to the monsoonal part only. And so I gotta get my mind on the treadmill. NOW!

One whole sole reason we’ve been sent to the earth, to have a life, is to be in LOVE. To find somebody we love, who loves us unconditionally. To actually end up with someone who fits our mould perfectly, no lose nuts and bolts. Love it is. Simply. Purely. Truly.

When does a story turn into a love story? You meet somebody, story; But when that somebody becomes somebody special, it becomes a love story. And then every little thing in life, from a flower, to a bird, to a cute red heart sticker and to an old love song, seems beautiful. Though they are, they have been, since always, but our realization comes now.

Monsoon has always been specially attached with the feeling of love; be it falling madly in it or the break up humidity. Taking extract from my earlier post, “The rocky patch, the problematic days, with tension of work, family and people around, but the hope of happiness still being there, clusters in for the Monsoon of emotions.” But this is just one face of the coin. There is a lot more to monsoon than just sadness. It brings joy too.

Monsoon brings us close to the nature, close to the love. As and when the little tinkling droplets of rain, the harmony of birds and the glee in the eyes of our lover, shines, like a miracle or some magical moment, it’s nothing but the blooming “First love “ feeling.

The soft showers, the cold breeze and the tingling music of the droplets coupled with the enchanting chirp of the birds play in the background, you would want nothing but your lover beside you. This one moment with your love is the most romantic and one which is cherished for life.

 

Being a girl, we’re born romantic, and love-stories and movies spoil us more, they take us up high in expectations of romance and then  we end up planning or imagining a rain love dance or some sequence of *pyaar hua ikraar hua* happening to us. And hoping something like this happening is not wrong either. We are in love. We’re bound to be crazy and think unnatural and be mad too.

 

 A rain makes us step out, get drenched in it and free ourselves from the social parameters of shyness, if at all any, as in if we face them. Love and rain have been connected since always. The feeling of love augments when monsoons arrive and then to compare the feeling to just happiness doesn’t really suffice. It’s a different world altogether.

My idea of expressing love is way too mushy and this shows in each word I’ve penned down. Anyway, I think my sister will be more than happy to see her little sister growing with each post, (Modest I am. VERY) and with her work done, she surely will be.

So here it goes, especially for you dee. Make everyone spellbound at the Army party and get showered with compliments!

 

SECOND CHANCES

Life doesn’t really give you a second chance. Or it does?

Its 2 am in the morning, switched off my laptop, set the alarm, kept the ac remote and phones next to my head, yawned a couple of times too. I was all ready to sleep until this thought stuck me. It just made me rewind all the decisions I’ve ever took. From the little-kid-making-new-friends, to shopping, buying things to choosing a career, its patterns and to relationships and love.

Pondering over all the innocent ones, like making friends when you just step into school, should I go and say hi to that kid? Or sharing food, pencils, and pens with him/her? One breath and you’re done with these ones. No hustle, no cry. And somehow these mattered. Okay now its kid-dish, but it did when we were 5, it surely did, to some extent. Changing schools, or changing friends, being with new-kid-in-class and forgetting your day-1-friend, this wasn’t really tough deciding. It just happened and we weren’t supposed to explain out the why’s and how’s associated with it.

As we grow up, we realize that as our bodies grow, get complicated, our mind too does and the decisions we are meant to take, get more complicated, and the dilemmas get more evolved with time.

The same how and when of switching some friend, like being more with somebody and losing out to someone you grew up with, happens. But this time, it ain’t simple. It’s complicated. With reasons, why that-person and not me? The jealousy factor, the importance factor, everything creeps in. It gets sad and murky. But the only thing that remains constant is the reason, which is “NOTHING”. We still have no answer but a silence in which we ourselves think “Is it so?” or “why? I don’t feel that ways.” And in the end we are left with the little scratch in our relationships by none other than TIME. The ever manipulative and playable TIME! Ha!

I started with the second chances and don’t know where this difference crept in from. Anyway, second chances. YES! We don’t really have any second option in life though. It’s just a yes or a no. With choosing a friend, either you be one or you don’t. With selecting a career, either what you want to, what you like or something you don’t. Either you are in love or you aren’t. It’s no other way. A YES or a NO. And once we’re done with deciding what to chose, we have to stick to it, all of its consequences as well. No second chance.

But sometimes we get it. When you act stupid, foolish and immature, life gives you one. Honestly, we are puppets sent by god on this earth to entertain rest of them. And fall in love with one of them tooJ. Similarly everybody has their job predefined by him. The GOD! Pretty tough business he does, you see! And when we don’t do as we are supposed to, or go by our will, against his, we get some intuition of something weird happening and we ignore that sign and still do it; then comes our second chance. To revisit that one thing, one decision which we made, to correct it and make everything fall into place; and build a happy world for ourselves.

We all get one. Once or many a times in life, we all do some reckless thing(s), for which the second chance comes and knocks our door. And as there is a happy ending always, everything settles down quite smoothly! It works out. It has to, else as Sharukh Khan says” picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!” it goes on till it becomes PERFECT!

Probably I got one. I think. Maybe I decided some issues, some matters of my life, very swiftly, for which I had to pay later, a huge amount though. And then came, my second chance. It happened. Abruptly but ending in a happier me now. It made me hard, rigid to life, patient, practical and a little less emotional- sentimental, and a much calmer, accepting person. To say the least, I couldn’t have been in love with GOD more.

Life is too short to be unhappy and since GOD knows what we are worth, there will be no settling for dirt. There WILL be a happy ending. Life teaches us everything. All we have to be is a patient learner and it’s gonna be a world as WE SEE IT.

*DILLI* & THE “NOT-SO-COMMON-NO-WEALTH-GAMES”

They call it hot, I call it warm.

They call it crowd, I call it a party.

They call them brats, I call them brothers.

They call it bad, I call it bliss.

They call it traffic, I call it festival.

They call it dirty, I call it dressed.

They call it a sinner, I call it a saint.

They call it a barren, I call it loam.

They call it Delhi, I call it home.

NEW DELHI! It is.

Okay I admit. These are not my words but a forward I got like ages back and with which I fell in love. So I saved it. But I don’t really agree with it TOTALLY. And the only reason that made me not fall for such a masterpiece completely is the pre-COMMONWEALTH GAMES scenario.

Commonwealth games. A matter of pride and honor for every Indian. It surely is.

But this commonwealth is not only revolutionizing Delhi, oops New Delhi but making it more of some NEW-new Delhi.  And something that I won’t be surprised of after the games is the government changing its name to NEWEST -New Delhi or whatever.

Basically, what got me thinking is that this place, our capital is changing so freaking quickly. To be precise, I haven’t seen Delhi changing so rapidly in last 20 years of my life (though I don’t remember all of it, still.) than in the last one year.

In snap of months, not the roads, but the routes have changed. COMPLETELY. It almost took me hours to get to a place and to realize how I’ve reached this place, where I used to be wandering about with my eyes closed, easily (Not literally though). I was disappointed.

It’s not only the routes or the roads; it’s so much more to it. The rupee has finally got a symbol, a very beautiful and traditional one, one that defines India perfectly. But again, why now? Why not earlier, like 10 years back? Or 5 years back? Everything was same; except the deadline for commonwealth games. I would say human nature. We dress up only when somebody is coming over or we are going out but when we are home, we all love your pajamas’. 

But then our country should be dressed all the time. Don’t you all think? Just for us and not to please some athletes who will supposedly like Delhi or India only in the TV interviews and blab about it negatively when they go back to their homes.

This commonwealth, I agree is making India more global, but at what cost? Rising daily commodity prices? Making it more difficult for the lower class people to afford their bread for the day? Hiking the taxes? Increasing the price of everything?  To put it straight, making the gap between the upper class and lower class people wide enough only for the government to play in between.

I’m not detesting the games, neither I’m against the growth, but I’m seriously finding this whole putting up thing nerve-wrecking. If it’s to be beautified, why not do it permanently? There is no need of such temporary changes, new constructions, changing roads, symbols, everything, just for a 15 day game period. I might be sounding so negative, and deep down I also know that all of this is for us, our future, a pretty one. But the only thing that is ticking me in my mind constantly is “WHY NOW? WHY NOT EARLIER?” Just.

Now as my sister read it, she imagined me debating and fighting over this topic. Weird she is. Nonetheless, my best friend, my best critic too. And honestly, I’m not fighting, or debating, or shouting at the top of my pitch, but just writing down what I’ve been felling lately, about this place, which I call HOME.

 To just summarize the idea of Commonwealth games, as per me: it is taking up the COMMON man’s WEALTH to play GAMES with it. Ah! Anyway, I think I should just rest my inner voice which hates the government, a little more than much. And with a hope that someday, it won’t be about any *angrez* but only us, I’m going to start liking the common-wealth-ly consequences and planning’s. I hope.

P.S. love Delhi (or New Delhi). I always did. Will always do. 

LOVE, LIFE AND THEIR SEASONS

Just as weather cycle goes on over the world, life follows the same route for each emotion. At least mine does.

The seasonal weather cycle as we’ve all studied, or to say experience/feel it (obviously!) continues with summer, monsoon, then autumn, winters and spring and then summer again!

Similar goes on with our life’s emotional cycle, you’re happy one moment, extremely sad the other, sometimes problematic and sometimes neutral. But in the end it starts all over again. You end up being happy, this way or that. And this cycle goes on and on.

Summers; the boiling heat, the bright sun, the carefree nature (obviously except the sweat!); depicts the season of happiness. Or to be exact, defines Love. You fall in it, get high with it, do crazy things, go mad with your dreams and ride high on desires. The adrenaline rush you feel, just when you’re about to kiss and the same sort of rush when you have a rain dance in the scorching heat, ditto. The feeling of achieving something you desired, the happiness of being surrounded with love, just as the smile on your face glows, the sun shines in summer.

The happiness weakens. Relationships too do. The rocky patch, the problematic days, with tension of work, family and people around, but the hope of happiness still being there, clusters in for the Monsoon of emotions. Monsoon includes the rains, the sticky days, and the irritations when just a percent of humidity increases. And some comparison to put in, this monsoon marks the end of summer or a break from it, to be more general, just like monsoon of our emotions, shadows our prolonged happiness.

Monsoon ends. Autumn begins, the trees shed their leaves, and the environment gets filled with moist air along with some sadness in it. The autumn is nothing more than, the partitions, the ends, the break ups and the never stopping tears, the losing love, and the losing out on happiness phase. Terrible to summarize.

After you break up with somebody or lose out on the *supposed* love of your life, the world seem to crash down, everything seems to halt. The numbness fills in. Everything seems murky. We become so inhumane, or insensitive that our little heart becomes a cold stone. The winters of our emotions have arrived. Putting a comparison with the winter weather, the snow (okay not in Delhi!), still in the other parts of the world, makes us stick to the home and we lose our sense of touch, the numbness rushes here too.

But then winters don’t stay for long. The smart sun gets back to business of shining on us and such comes spring! The moderate environment, a little cold and little hot. The tree seem to blossom with sparkling new flower buds, and to correlate, our lives get better. A new love knocks down, things fall into place, smartly and sweetly a smile starts to mark its way on our faces. Spring it is!

My life too goes through it. But everything happens to its extreme. To personify, the sweltering bright heat of Middle East makes up my summer. The freezing chills of Alaska make up my winters. The nonstop pouring water of Mumbai makes the monsoon. The stereotypical* Canadian flowers shedding from trees make up my autumn and the cute red flowers budding on New York street trees make up my spring!    Extreme! Totally!

Too much happiness, too much hatred, too much pain, too much problems. Too much EVERYTHING. But life goes on. We do too, we have to adapt to everything that happens in and around us. Or probably just keep flowing. Optimistic, we have to be!

Even though it’s very humid and hot in New Delhi, but I’m so enjoying my Monsoonal-Spring. New beginnings and problematic events, the new love and old hatred are making me happy and irritable, at the same time. Nonetheless, this season is truly loved by me, with all my heart.

OUT YOU GO MR.X

Last week I saw a not so rich man pretending to be this stinky rich guy who owns the world, or at least thinks that way. To not mention him as this man, I would call him Mr X. The scene exactly was Mr. X was driving a car, not the long or the SUV one but the mid car; and then suddenly a rickshaw puller tries to find way among the little space beside him to cross the red light and succeeds.

Just to try his luck and dance on the tiny little chance another cycle driving man does the same, but fails and so bumps into the car. OUCH! And to not exaggerate, the cycle could only put a little scratch, sized the nail of my middle finger to Mr. X's car.

And as everybody would do, Mr. X got down, panicked, saw his car, shouted at the cycle man and went inside his car. NORMAL. But then suddenly his pride woke up and bought him back on road. STRANGE. And then in a blink, he was slapping, kicking the cycle man and shouting and screaming in the middle of the road. Everybody watched. Happily to say cause no one came forward to help that poor cycle man. And to surprise everybody Mr. X deflated the cycle tires. And yes BOTH. Just to not expect, he came with his might inhuman nature, and laughingly said "tum chote log kya jaano car ki kimat,bhikhari kahi ke aur aage dikha to maar daalunga"

Signal opened. Everybody left. Except that cycle man, stranded on the footpath with deflated cycle, tore shirt and whining about his status to god.

I was numb. For a second, cold enough to not feel the heat and hot air blowing. And I too left.

Now after 6 days of that happening, I’m ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed of not getting out of my car to help him or stop Mr. X from almost killing him. Why did I do it? Cause I was scared or was I enjoying such a scene? Or my voice alone wasn't enough to stop Mr. X from making cycle guy blame god? I don't know. Probably ALL.

Mr. X is a healthy wealthy man, happy and rich enough to buy a car. And a cycle too but broke enough to have emotions attached with people and have humanity and showing gratitude to god is what he doesn't know. And the cycle man is a thin poor guy, whining not about his tore shirt or no aired cycle but his fate for making him sense pain from such a close degree. For him, getting a new shirt is a big deal where in compared to us, we don't use a shirt if it gets blotted. For us to drive an ac car in such heat is acceptable but not walking without an umbrella or the chic shades and this man has to travel some large distance without all this.

But in all this even after losing so much he only has god to blame for the beating and thank him for his liveliness. And to put a comparison here, we blame god for not getting us to the new phone in market, never for making us stand everyday in good health. HONESTLY never.

Mr.X is in us. Each one of us. And we need to flush him out. ASAP to say. Else we would be enjoying killing someone over a Band-Aid sized cut on a car and blaming god for making it difficult for us to kill him this way and giving him strength enough to fight for living. Tch.

Pride makes us blind, heartless for emotions and feelings. Get real, get human. 

Start thanking god for every tiny little thing you have, because it takes a fortune to have it and a microsecond to lose it. Rather just thank god for your life.

I wish and hope, just as I did, everybody will, someday live with peace, harmony and with integrity and not kill over materialistic visions and status problems.

So now I’m all with it, done with in-humanism.

God! Thank you so much. With lots of Love ,a little-coward-stupid-cute child of yours.