+ 12:30 hours

It's been a little more than a year I wrote something for myself. I mean, this- my little space. But, today seemed like a perfect moment to recommit to what I love.

Checking few things- earphones plugged in. Volume upped to maximum- just to put off the irksome environment. I started. And I lost myself in a jiffy. I felt nervous- jumpy, like a butterfly tingling effect in my stomach, which never really happened before. THAT feeling!

I’m going to bury that away, and let the happiness of the reason outshine it.

Back in 2011, one stupid boy walked in my life. He blissfully came, did what he was ‘famous’ for, and made a quiet entry in my life. Slyly.  Somewhere between knowing each other and today; he termed me an emotionally damaged girl. And I went a step ahead and wrote a blog post about how I’m just emotionally cautious and not dam-blah-ged! (Oh! 21 year olds do that! *_*). And he, just to add, was another ‘age-not-to-be-mentioned’ boy who probably reacted more to Google than human feelings.

Well, that was two years ago. Things changed.

Call it his nature; where he couldn’t really leave anything midway and had to sort/ organize things (emotional damage) like he wanted; or simple boy falling in love with a stupid girl; we’ve reached here.

Following its routine, time has changed significantly. By 12 and half hours precisely.

Among many here-and-there rules, celebrating birthday together was one of them. Today, is his birthday. And I couldn’t really think of any other way to celebrate it, by writing; by recommitting to one thing I love more.

S,

Watch me over when I call it a day.

Let’s dance to the tune, as you say.

It’s just a beautiful mess over here.

Let me gaze till the clock strikes 12 there.

Happy Birthday.

Love, yours. 

I'll be back!

Hello! Blogger world!

Yes! Yes! I am alive. A little under the weather and world; but breathing!
It's been about an year I have written something for my personal space, my personal zone, for Suburban Dreamer. And trust me, it's a terrible terrible feeling.

Well! Let bygones be bygones. The dreamer is back. I am back with stories, feelings, wishes, dreams and a lot more.

Before that. My little sister has decided to make use of her lazy vacations to revamp my blog to the new age tech, app, design and everything. Sounds exciting? Well, I am freaked!

Just hold on to see a revamped mature Suburban Dreamer in few days.
Till then,
Happy reading! :)

A for Apple, B for Best!

From the first trembling steps in the kindergarten, to that drunken walk after a graduation party; there are these special people in the world who we owe everything to. They guide us, they scold us, and they happily take our hatred and still show us that light we’ve been looking for - our Teachers.

Apart from our parents, teachers are the only people who have the ability to reform us. As they say, the strength of anything lies in its foundation. And so does ours. The first teacher who taught you ABC, taught you in a way that she made sure that you could write such long stories or probably write stupid technical codes. And those who followed, made sure they instilled knowledge in such a way that never excretes out!

Among all the teachers I’ve had, there were some special few, who stomped my heart in such a way that they left a deep print! So much that even after 19 years, I remember them. And hope to see them at least once in my walk of life.

Today being the Teacher’s day- I’d love to dedicate this little post to my favorite teachers, with all my heart. Ms. Marina, Mrs. Sonali Malik, Mrs. Renu Gulati, Mrs. Anshu Sahi, Mr. Deepak, Ms. Geeta, Mrs. Tejaswinee Barua; you all have engraved my life with something or the other valuable, that I’m definitely sure of passing it on to my children!:P

And It all began with *A for Apple* and came to *B for Best*! So here’s wishing my best-est teachers a very happy Teacher’s Day! Although a Thank you for whatever they’ve done to make me ‘Me’ wouldn’t suffice; but nonetheless socially it does. Hence, Thank You. Tons.

You. All. Are. Truly. Awesome!:D

TO-DO #4: Write a Blog!

One. Just one awesome thing the workplace has introduced in my life is the MS Office Note! After a random deployment of MS Office 2010 and a day (read: several) of boredom, I found this. Never knew it would replace my daily notepad files of To-Do’s and my Ever-note (which I’m technologically challenged with) on my phone. THIS has thus become my daily To-Do maintainer! The happiness in being organized is pretty much valuable, mind you!

Initially I wrote everything and anything I had to do; till one day when it reached #47! (Honestly!) And that’s when I realized how crazy a To Do can make you! With constant notifications and reminders, making sure you complete your task for the day, or for the coming days when you plan to go shopping; it doesn’t forget and doesn’t let you either. Precisely, it scares the hell outta you!

But! Even with all these flaws -say awesome tech features resembling a mom nagging constantly, I still LOVE it! In fact, writing this blog was a part of my To Do too! Not because I had a blogger’s block, or I was trying to breathe through a 5 feet pile of electronic paper work over my little head; or the medical routine that zonked me out; but ONLY cause I needed it to remind me of not missing out on what I love. :D

Even though the colorful features attract you, it also give you an organized layout of how screwed you are and will be, in no time! Though that helps sometimes, where either you can save yourself the pit hole, or let yourself go, to fall into one. Unless you work in an IT industry where no matter what-how-when-why; you’ll anyway fall! :P

I doubt till the time I start acting on some aspects of my life, I’ll ever be able to stop cribbing about being an engineer. Blah!

Nonetheless, I hope my words speak louder than these petty actions; and transform into some happy heavy-duty actions soon! All I need is Mr. G, some important people to push me, YOU all to read this regularly; and not to miss- the To-Do’s!

And that’s how I’ll end my weird Friday in office! Happy Reading!

LEAP OF FAITH!

The other day I realized how crazy busy life was pre- on- post my ‘happy little vacation’, that I couldn’t even do things that I wanted to. Writing for one.

Now after being back, and being loaded with shit amount of work from left and right, and getting a tight slap from mom (just metaphorically!); I’ve decided to take that leap of faith I always wished to.

You know how crazily you want to do something in life but you just can’t, because you’re scared of how unpredictable life might get, if you do that! The reason is not the fear of failure, but just that you don’t really want to leave the sleazy couch you’re stuck in. Cause for one, it makes you live in a bubble which is secure.

THAT phase :|

But then happiness is something I can’t do without! I’m not bothered about it being a debacle, because even if I fall- I know I can kick back pretty awesomely! But the valor to take this jump is making me hesitant.

I think all I need right now is courage, little support and faith from people around me. In fact a lot of it - to be precise; just to stop running from myself and face what I need to deal with.

It’s the eighth month of the year, ninth in my job, sixth since I started cribbing, and third since I started my new dream planning. Another 10 days minus the laziness, and I’ll do this.

I think I’m ready to take his leap of faith now.
Aah! Mr.G, just stay around. Please.

THE ITCH TO GET THAT BITCH!

As humans, we are bound to make mistakes. Simple fact: we aren’t programmed with the perfect thinking, the perfect decision-making-ability and the perfect judgments about choices or for the matter of fact, people.

I’m a normal human being, like some of them out there!

I’ve made a lot of mistakes, like any other human being!

I’ve had some of the worst relationships, like any other 22 year old!

I’ve had sleepless nights and mind baffling sessions with myself, just like any other adult!

Similarly, I too have several dreams stuck in that subconscious release state of my mind which are impatient enough to ooze out, but somehow don’t find the right channel.

So this “to-do” stuck in that subconscious state of mind makes us scratchy! Such a bitch it is! Damn it!

Basically every human has this *itch*. According to Dictionary.com it is ‘to have a desire to do or get something’. Itch, in simple terms is a strong feeling- which is definitely not about scratching your body! It’s the itch that makes us ‘get’ what we want.

Sometimes it takes us years to realize what caused that itch, or probably find out a proper medication (metaphorically) for it. And sometimes- just the times when you’re really lucky, you understand it and prescribe yourself the perfect cure that’ll take you through that channel!

The ‘Scratch-your-body’ itch gives us an urge to get it done with as soon as possible. Who wouldn’t want to stop scratching his bare back in public right?! Just like that, we get this irrepressible itch, to ooze out our ‘to-do’ and frame it into a picture perfect reality. The one we want! All cause to make our life a little more simple and free from mind-f’ed-ness!

Or to simply say, just to get that bitch out in real!

I’m working towards my ‘to-do’ with a hope to frame it into this real world than the flimsy reel dreams!

It’s time to curb my itch to get that bitch out, right?! Let see how soon that becomes!

Till then, happy reading! :)

DREAMS DON'T WORK UNLESS YOU DO.

During one of the early morning senseless-training-introduction-sessions they asked us to describe ourselves in a word each. And like always, I described myself as a dreamer. Now, generally what I receive as a reaction is ‘Ooh! / Haa! How nice!’ or some mockery. But from nowhere, a person sitting right across me, turned out to be an interjector and questioned about my dreaming reality and ‘procedure’. Yup! ‘What’s the procedure of your dreaming? How do you do that?’

For about 10 seconds I kept staring him with one brow up. (Okay, I can’t do that! But still a similar expression :^\ ) I couldn’t decide whether I should just laugh out loud on his face or answer him outta the designation hierarchy and official environment. But deciding the latter was difficult too, considering he calling himself ‘creative’ without knowing how to color coordinate his clothes while dressing up for office!

I did both. I laughed at first and then answered him asking what dreams meant to him. Not to my surprise he answered what any regular middle-aged-frustrated-sleepless IT professional would. ‘Wahi jo sone ke time pe aate hai ya office mien kabhi kabhi- mainly those that give you temporary happiness and generally poore nahi hote’. 

Again! I kept quiet for 10 seconds, stared at him, and then mentally thought of saying –Sirji, grow up no?

I don’t know how you explain a person how to dream! I had no idea what to say! The closest I could think was to tell him what I generally dream about, thinking I might just inspire him to go dream, sleep and stop the boring training session!

After I finished story-telling my dreams, and how this office is one of the ‘loveliest’ places in my satire world; he asked me how do I make sure of getting them to reality. And then from somewhere, (I really don’t know HOW!!?) I quoted him- ‘Dreams don’t work unless you do!” For a minute, I was looking at his awestruck reaction and then I wondered what made me slap such an awesome line on his face, rather what made it strike my mind in the first place only!? Or for the matter of fact, how could John C. Maxwell strike me bang on that time!? Sigh!

Dreams don’t work unless you do. How unintentionally philosophically true can I get! Until and unless you don’t get up and start doing something about your dream, your sleeping on the couch won’t make it come true no!? You dream, you plan, and you *HAVE TO* work out to get it right into the real world. Simple!

After saying those sooper awesome lines, I just added another poster to my wall. And my lazy brain has started its realization process for the ‘To-Do’ - to get those big dreams to reality!

What about you? :)