RELATIONSHIPS WE CHOOSE

I was just wondering whether we were given a choice to choose our parents or siblings. I could not find any firm conclusion to it, but almost 95% part of me believes in being gifted with them; rather than being given a choice.

At some or the other stage in life, we dislike our parents. We don’t really hate them, because hate indeed is a very huge word, but we dislike them. We all did. And that era of nonsense-striking-every-mind is the teenage period. Or as Katy Perry’s song goes ~ la la la Teenage drama~.

 

Siblings on the other hand are our twins with some year gap! If not really-actually twins! Anyway, we never ever get any hard feeling or any envious feeling for them, cause they are our closest and precious-est treasures. But taking some error in consideration, 5% end up hating their siblings too.

Friends can’t be included in this, because they are totally chosen by us. Here, ’Us’ includes: our ego, our feelings, our mind, and our heart.

 

So I don’t know if the choice ever existed, but then none of us dislike our own thing, or anything we chose for ourselves. So I guess God gifted us our parents and siblings. Aaah! I think I’ve justified my statements as such. But I know I’m creating an illusion by using words like gifted and dislike for the same aspect, but then the lord is never wrong! Hello! He is THE GOD! Like THE ALMIGHTY! And we, some-monkey-transformed-into-human, have to be unsatisfied with everything that comes our way. Be it our parents. So after all that we go through, some hard times and some teenage-drama, we land back on the correct path, just to realize that we have the BEST parents and the BEST siblings.

 

But, we still are left with some places to be filled in our lives. Like our soul-mate/lover/best friend and sister-or-brother from another mother! And these are the ones we choose. I almost wrote 250 words just to come to my point; about the siblings we were never gifted! Or the ones god forgot to give us. Or simply, the choice we were given.

As I mentioned in my last post, my best friends have that STATUS in my heart. But along with them, there is somebody else who isn’t really my best friend, or of my age, but still is an integral part of my sibling clan! Simmi/Samurai/Samaritee/ or anything-everything I call her, is my other little sister, I own! A neighbor, my sister’s best friend, a little kid who grew up in front of my eyes, a girl being transformed to a pretty lady, or from a rebellious, silent teenager to a loud, happy-go-lucky adult; I’ve seen all of her.

 

I thought of writing something for her on her birthday, but then her birthday shopping kept me busy! And now when she was furious; over some petty issues between a big sister and a kid sister; I thought of surprising her, like making up to her. Though she won’t be surprised totally, but it’ll do for a while. I guess!

 

So, Sim baby; I’m sorreee!! Lets Patch-up! Lets KISS and MAKE-UP! I love you, though not more than Shee (sorry!), but definitely not less than her too. J

DOSTEE FOREVER

Somebody smart once said: “When you’re small, the friends you make last big.” And as always I’m gonna take its stand too! We all have a lotta friends but in the end, there are very few, say one or two;  who will get up at 4 am, not whine, and rush to you only because you want to have an ice-cream! And me; being one of god’s prettiest (& modest!) special child OWNS more than 1 of those. We take each other for granted, we don’t talk for months, we see each other on yearly basis; but the warmth of our meeting lasts long!

 

As we grow up, and try to understand the complications of life, the trivial issues which transform from nothing to OMG! ; We realize almost every person likes to cover up. Girls in the MAC, LOREAL way and guys in the generalized way! Finding those, who aren’t really fond of faking, is a little difficult. In fact when you’re in School, it’s the time period of 8 to 2, which keeps us together. The moment we move out of the School, like bid adieu, we find out who is worth our nags; who makes an effort to call us; who takes the first step to meet; and who makes us grounded to the best time of our life, SCHOOL-DAYS.

 

Every phase of our life gives us gems. But like diamonds, best friends are hard to find. It’s not that you don’t find them, you do; but then you have to scan a hundred of them, test your trust on a lotta gems, scratch every stone to check whether it’s your diamond or not. I’ve had my share of scratching, testing, rubbing the stones to get my solitaires. And now, I’m more than glad to have them in my crown.

I’ve collected my diamonds, from all the sphere’s I’ve been in; weaved them in a necklace which dresses my heart. Jeees! I sound like a jewel freak now!!Eeeks!

 

Anyway! Everybody falls for their friend, at-least once; fights with them, keeps on killing them verbally, talk sexy with some, dream, and plan our life too. After our parents, it’s our best-friends who support us through the drama. I think, they are sent just to bring out the best in us, and love also! Again, I don’t know who wrote this, but it’s some smart ass for sure. It goes like:”When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there!” I’m in complete awe of it.

 

I’ll end this with one of my favorite forwards. ~ In the rhythm of life, sometimes we find ourselves out of tune. But when there are people like you to provide the melody, the music plays on! ~ **Dhulia, Khanna, Devyani, Komal, Genie, Reeta**; you are my extended family. Probably the siblings God forgot to give me! There’s nothing beyond you guys. There never was. There never will. :D

MUSIC IS WHAT FEELINGS SOUND LIKE

~~ No one else; can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken; live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins; the rest is still unwritten.~~

“Unwritten”. Natasha Bedingfield’s song, that makes me look life with positivity and surprises-in-store, even when I’m in my murkiest of moods.

 

Our psychology is tuned onto the iterative happy-depressed cycle. One moment we do something good or it happens with us, we become happy. And when we have nothing to do, or something tremors our life, we tend to put a sad smiley mask on our face. Be depressed in short! Among this, one thing where we tend to find peace is by listening to songs. Yes! Music is what triggers our mood-genes, most of the time and in 99% of us. It is one language in which you can’t say a mean or a sarcastic thing. Truly!

 

Joy makes the dancer or the singer in us come out. All we want is to shout out our favorite song or dance to it on full volume. Getting high has another aspect than been drunk. And that is definitely the music. Or when you’re low; depressing songs that hold a really deep meaning, trigger our mind cells that we keep on listening them for hours. Some sound keeps on playing in our head, all the time. Be it joyous or a sad one. In other words; Music expresses that, which cannot be put in words and cannot remain silent.

 

Recently I was reading this book, “THE ART OF CHOOSING”; and there I read a quote, about music that made me pen down all this. It goes like; “Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from the heaven to the soul.”  Honestly, the sound of anything and everything; is music with a meaning. Chirping of birds, Wind chimes, door bell, and our breath, ticking of clock, songs, weeping, love, water-ocean, air and EVERYTHING! Music is what feelings sound like.

 

Music can make us dance. Music can make us sing. Music can makes us fly. Music can make us jump off a cliff. Music can make us fall in love. Music can give us happiness. Music can take our fears. Music can share our sorrows. And Music makes us live. It’s enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime isn’t enough for music.

Love. Life. Happiness. Music; one soul different terms. Hence it is rightly said’ Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul.

P.s. I LOVE music. In fact; Worship it. :)

JANUARY PRAYER

These icy-cold winters have not only made our hands & feet numb, but the chill has hit some of the hearts as well. I was just pondering over the happenings in the last few years of my life; and realized how every person has a phase, like a part to play in your life. Exactly two years back, when my life was surrounded by shit, like deep-immature-shit; then god had sent a stupid loving angel, to help me walk through my haunted dreams. Correction; a normal-egoistic-friend.  And when my life became a bed of roses, not literally but when happiness was galore, he walked off. Vanished; left; and every other synonym that describes the impact of leaving without informing, and explaining the “OH-WHY-WHAT HAPPENED as such” of the friendship.

No matter how hard you try to stick to somebody, or be in love with, you move on after a while. There are very few people who actually strike the right chord in your heart. Such that, we cry when they feel pain, we smile when they are happy, and most of it, we bear the scar and the emptiness when they leave us. Life moves on and the impact of such people subsides with time. But the void remains and that kills!

I still wonder what happened that made me lose my best friend. Or probably I do. I don’t know! But the haziness and the fogged air in this friendship, has made it reach the danger level; which I detest. Badly. And these winters have made him cold too. I really want it to snow in Delhi, but I wonder if it does, then it’s gonna make his heart more numb to reality, me and a lotta other things.

Aaah! God! Please help me get my Costa mornings back; my super expensive lunch treats back, the ear to my never ending nonsense talks and most of it, my genie back. This is my first, frozen 2011 prayer; a wish which i really want you to grant .Just be around; like always.

I'll wish and I’ll pray. 

FROZEN WISHES

Just when I tried to type, my numb fingers gave up. And now as I try to type something with my gloves on, my laptop gives up! The chill has hit this stupid electronic device too. Aaahhh…its freezing cold! In my almost 21 years of living, I haven’t really witnessed, or felt to be precise, Delhi as cold as this. Delhi never ever had 3 degrees as its minimum temperature! All that’s left is some snowfall, which I really want to see and enjoy!

 

Winters are more beautiful than summers because they aren’t that messy, plus we get to wear more of pretty pieces like scarves, gloves, mufflers and daddy’s huge-sweat shirts! I love this winter season, very-very much, mainly cause of numb hands, ice cold water, hot-chocolate fudges, foggy drives, shivering,  noisy teeth, and less cause of the darkness! Even though it gets murky early these days, but this is the only time of the year when we love the sun, without any hue.

With winters, what one associates is Excess clothing, Christmas, Parties, Hot food and sweets, New Year, and if an undergraduate, then exams too! It’s been 4 years since my college exams have snatched my winter holidays, but just as every dog has its day, now I will do!*evil laugh*This is the last winter spent in blankets and books, together. And the contentment can’t suffice in words!

 

So moving next, like every December 31^st, I made quite a few resolutions this time too, which I intend to break a little later than the last year ones. And these include; Getting a job, teach in some NGO, Earn some revenue out of my writing, Love more, Travel more, click more, Write more, eat less junk, Party more, Drink less, read more, eat a little more less, dance more and eat junk way too less! And like every girl’s shopping list, this resolution list doesn’t end here. There’s a lot on my mind than this word document! I just wonder whether my list will work out well or my laziness will conquer it all!

 

So apart from stupid resolutions which will die a silent death soon, the New Year has bought in much more happiness than I wished or hoped for. Right from getting the full family home, to celebrations, to happy exams and unconditional love; everything. The past year, 2010 couldn’t have been more fruitful, loving and happy. But amidst all this some sadness that has left a deep scar which still prevails in the bottom of my heart. Anyway, without getting nostalgic or regretful or sobbing over what’s not with me, I’ll only be positive, at least in my 1^st post of New Year 2011!

 

Aaah! 2010 has finally left and 2011 is shining bright, though without sun and with frozen days, but along with positivity, joy and eagerness to do something BIG; all around me and in me, I just hope to get some things right for people who matter to me.  So, I wish everybody, who reads this, a “SOOPERB NEW YEAR 2011” with love, luck, happiness, success, positivity and dreams. May the almighty shower you with blessings always! 

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Don’t you want to change your last mistake? A spoilt relationship? Or a decision gone wrong? Or a choice which ended up in some disaster? Isn’t there a part in each one of us that wants to rewind some things that happen? I think it does. Even the most fluent tagline “I don’t regret anything in life”; is cheesy and has everything wrong in it. We make our own choices, and hence have no other option of dealing with them on our own too. The blame game can’t be played for too long.

 

Good lord’s bestest gift to us is love, and never ever in our dreams too, we should question its existence. Just like Ritwik something’s novel’s title goes; LOVE HAPPENS LIKE THAT; it does. Plus in the least expected way you expect it to. But at the same point of time, you can’t escape the pressure your surroundings put you in. We all live in a society which thrives on external or to be precise peer pressure. Honestly, I would call this peer foolishness or peer’s burning sensation of happiness. Or something of that sort, that makes better sense than this. (And you surely get what I mean!!)

 

Such a tense environment leads you to the worst sickness; Doubt. And getting caught in that web is one heck of a thing! I don’t know when this little prickly creature; Mr.Doubtee, I’ll call him; got in but for all the little while he was inside me, killed me. He played his role of spoiling my fairytale romance, making my lazy mind race with nonsense and ended up shedding me a tear too. All the characteristics that my ‘foolish-unhappy-with-self-peer’ possesses. God made us the way, we could be best justified with. And the power of thinking that we inherent, is one great gift indeed! Our mind runs in all directions, and even in those where we don’t want to rather we don’t imagine of too. But every smoke rises from some fire. And what better reason to mind-fuck than that of insecurity; envy, guilt, or consequential planning that makes our mind step the treadmill!

 

So, after all being said and done, to correct things, like some hero-under-wraps, ready to fight the villains; enters the heart. And to solve such heartily matters, all you need is truth, trust, faith, and love. With getting all the ingredients right, how could my fairytale not get back on track? It did and to put the exclamation on my widening smile, it is! To not forget, Mr. Doubtee had a sad ending. And so will the “peer”; as it is rightly said, “its Karma baby! It has to strike you back!!”

 

Now linking with the decision I made wrong, I would love to rewind the factors of Mr. Doubtee’s entrance in my life. A lot more trust and a lot more faith; which I possess now, will make sure my love-story remains happy, always, and keeps me too! Cheesy but true. 

So,A; here’s to you.:)

DREAMS ON PAPER

I haven’t felt the desperation for anything else more than writing. Now after a month I return to my laptop to scribble down my age-old dream. A dream that has some parts of my life planned, as per my wish, and has a happy ending too.

Though it’s recent that I’ve decided to go public with it, but if I wouldn’t, then how would my DREAM-MAN, my “knight in the shining armor”; find me? And adjust according to my dreams!  The dream has already started. My actions and thoughts just steer it to a new direction. Sometimes the wind of life knocks it down the highway and sets it up on a new route, a distance less travelled, less seen! New pebbles, new leaves have my story already written on them, and all they have to do is touch and fall on me, respectively.

 

I’ve grown up with Bollywood movies, honestly lived every Romantic one, and after being able enough to read and understand English, imagined myself in Hollywood’s classiest romantic flicks too! My dreams start with love and end with it. Honestly life does but practically it doesn’t. OKAY! I have to stop getting lost in my love dreamland, always; and stick to some reality. Getting back with my dream; all I intend to do in my life is love, dance, draw, travel, shop, paint and buy a car. Though particularly not in this order and not in the specified quantities as well!

 

I’m a 20 year old girl, studying and will start working in a while. (Hopefully!)Then there are some more studies to tackle. And all this for the Love of money! Along with a little greed of knowledge. And after so much of doing, I get through my dream number 1. “Buy-a-Car for dad”. To get to the roots; once I saw a black shining-hot-sensational-LONG car passing me and since that day I dream of having it parked in my driveway. Almost a year back when my dad planned to buy one, my dream-car just couldn’t happen and then I promised to GIFT him that one, before I get married! So, my intentions of working just reach out till the time I get “THE-CAR” for him. Then, I’m done with the 9 to 5 push-paper job.

 

Next I plan to fall in love. I know I’m stupid enough to *PLAN* to fall in love, but now when the stupid-cupid has lost his way down to me; I’m not left with anything than planning for it. So, like every other girl, I want to get married to the man who resembles my dad, in almost all the aspects; has my favorite actor’s looks, qualities including humor and to top it all loves me more than myself! He has to do a lot of things, as I’ve read and seen throughout, just to keep my belief in love stories and fairytales intact. The best proposal sequences, from the reel world have to taste reality with me. So Mr.Love I guess you’re hearing me; oops! Reading it well! Dream number 2 done!

 

Aaah! Life in a bubble is so much soothing and happy! I wish I could make it all happen right now, but I love life, to the extent it loves me and will wait for all the surprises it offers me, Happy or Sad. Now I guess my dream-life-planning has to take a back seat and the exam studying has to take a toll…Tsk! So, till my next dream sequel gets on paper, I guess my mind, my wanderer, has to be tied to the ground to complete some special love making sequences with the books!

Anyway, Happy Dreaming!